Religion is always a hotly debated topic. One of those things we aren’t supposed to talk about at dinner parties or work events. It’s right up there at the top of the list with politics. Often times it sparks debates over who believes what, and who is right or wrong. I for one, am one of those people that stay far, far away, from that topic.

Growing up I was exposed to several Christian denominations. I went to different churches with friends, grandparents, and babysitters who all belonged to different denominations. This really gave me exposure to what Christianity was. I was baptized Catholic but for years went to Awana (a global, nonprofit ministry committed to the belief that the greatest impact for Christ starts with kids who know, love and serve Him) at the Baptist church my babysitter worked for. Then on the weekends while at my grandmother’s I would attend Sunday school at the Methodist church. This went on for the majority of my elementary school years and spilled over into early middle school.

By the time I was in high school, I wanted nothing to do with any organized religion. It was very overwhelming and confusing. To this day I still can’t tell you how each of them is different because in my head they are all the same thing with a slightly different delivery. The confusion made me shut down, take a break, bow out. I was done.

Years past and every now and again an emptiness would creep up and I would contemplate if religion would fill this hole. When I really thought hard about attending a service somewhere I just couldn’t work up the courage. It just never felt right. So the fleeting moments would pass, along with another year, and I would fall back into the slump of emptiness. After years of literally believing in nothing, you start to wonder if you are missing out on part of the human experience.

Isn’t believing in something, anything, supposed to be a part of the journey while we are here?

In the movies, a spiritual awakening usually comes accompanied by a musical score and rapid epiphanies that leave someone instantly changed for the rest of their life from that moment on. For me, I found that my personal spiritual awakening happened in phases. Born out of life-changing events, undeniable synchronicity, and a sense of curiosity I felt a deep urge to find my own path of religion and something to believe in.

This urge became more of an exploration where one thing lead to another and that deep curiosity lead me down what is commonly referred to as the spiritual ‘wormhole’. I was there, deep in the hole. Close to what felt like something I could truly believe, yet still at a crossroads and wanting more. The more I found, the more questions I had, which lead to more answers, and again, more questions. I was officially on the hamster wheel of exploration.

I began experiencing overwhelming synchronicity that I believed was telling me I’m on the right path. It was certainly not the mainstream path, but it is my path. It wasn’t the belief system followed by the masses but there was a comfort in knowing that it was no longer about them. It was about finding something to believe in that filled the spiritual hole I was carrying deep within myself.

I realized something bigger was at play and that the mind, the body, and the spirit were all in need of their individual care to operate smoothly, as one, while we are here exploring this lifetime. It’s part of what it takes to live a long and happy life.

I realized that what I was experiencing was a spiritual awakening and that it was time to to release my fear, reflect inward, and allow it to come organically. Explore what sat right with my soul and settle on a version that made ME happy. The answer I was seeking was not going to be found in a google search, history book, or church pew.

The answer was in the deepest part of my individual soul.

I understood, at this point, that it may take a lifetime of exploration to find it but that would be the best part of the journey.